It is already hard to decide to undergo a fertility procedure. Long waits at the clinic, facing difficult tests, questioning your lifestyle, making assumptions of the percentage of success, giving personal details about your sex life, etc. There are so many things that we can mention here and the list is endless. However, there are recommendations I provide based on experience with other patients, and based on my own experience as a fertility doctor. There are things that you need to avoid listening to once you become a fertility patient. It is highly recommended you follow my advice.
- What is your diagnose? this is a very common one when patients wait at the clinic. The room is filled with patients undergoing fertility procedures, filled with doubts and questions, and a good form of validation is to listen they have been given the same diagnose or treatment as the others. Remember, every patient is different and you might not receive the same treatment as your colleague patient waiting. You can ask politely not to make comments about your fertility procedure during a conversation.
- In case you do not have a positive result you can always adopt: This is a very difficult one to face, especially because in most cases comes from family and friends looking to alleviate the suffering.
- I think you should change the clinic and go somewhere else: If a patient has already established a good relationship and communication with their doctor it will be hurtful and difficult for him/her to listen to this recommendation. This has to be a decision that just the patient should consider, not anyone else.
- Let’s start a group chat so we can all be in touch and follow each other’s procedure: Please do not become part of a group chat to listen to everybody’s problems, treatments and results; this will definitely interfere with your own treatment and the results might be not satisfactory after all. The same applies with reading other stories in fertility blogs.
- You should get pregnant now because you are having IVF: who said that undergoing IVF is 100% guaranteed you will get pregnant?
- If you do not get pregnant then you should not keep trying: that is again a very personal decision that needs to be made by the couple only, not suggested by any other person. Remember every case is totally different.
- Your medication is different than mine, perhaps one of us is not getting the right treatment: this situation is also very common. You need to remember every patient’s response to hormonal replacement is different so the dose that every patient will get.
- You might get cancer after all these hormones you are receiving: the only person that can explain you better the consequences and implications of your treatment is your doctor. Do not listen to others relating this or any other disease with your current treatment.
- I do not understand why you are going through all this, there are plenty of couples conceiving naturally and having healthy babies: Every case is different. It is a fact that infertility has been increasing worldwide, and many couples have been affected by this condition. You are one of these couples, so now you need to deal with it.
- I got pregnant! Well, good for them if your case was negative, better if you got pregnant too. But if you did not get pregnant please try not to get too frustrated with your result and speak to your specialist to find out what the causes might be. Remember your doctor is the best person to ask those questions to.