10 things patients undergoing fertility treatments should not listen to.


It is already hard to go through infertility. Many visits at the clinic, facing difficult tests, questioning your lifestyle, making assumptions of the percentage of success, giving personal details about your sex life, etc. There are so many things that we can mention here and the list is endless.

However, there are recommendations I provide based on experience with other patients, and based on my own experience as a fertility doctor. There are things that you need to avoid listening to once you become a fertility patient.

1. What is your diagnose? this is a very common one when patients wait at the clinic. The room is filled with patients undergoing fertility procedures, filled with doubts and questions, and a good form of validation is to listen that everyone else is doing the same treatment. But when someone is doing something different doubts ad questions arise.

Remember every patient is different, and you might not been going through the same treatment as the other patient waiting. What to do? Politely request not to talk about treatments because each treatment is different for everyone.

Now, what are most of the inappropriate people talk about:

2. In case you do not have a positive result you can always adopt: This is a very difficult one to face, especially because in most cases comes from family and friends looking to alleviate the suffering.

3. I think you should change the clinic and go somewhere else: If a patient has already established a good relationship and communication with their doctor it will be hurtful and difficult for him/her to listen to this recommendation. This has to be a decision that just the patient should consider, not anyone else.

4. Let’s start a group chat so we can all be in touch and follow each other’s procedure: Please do not become part of a group chat to listen to everybody’s problems, treatments and results; this will definitely interfere with your own treatment and results.

5. You should get pregnant now because you are having IVF: who said that IVF is 100% guaranteed and you will definitely get pregnant?

6. If you do not get pregnant then you should stop trying: that is again a very personal decision that needs to be made by the couple only, not suggested by any other person. Remember every case is totally different.

7. Your medication is different than mine, perhaps one of us is not getting the right treatment: this situation is also very common. You need to remember every patient’s response to hormonal replacement is different, and the dose might also differ.

8. You might get cancer after all these hormones you are receiving: the only person that can explain you better the consequences and implications of your treatment is your doctor. Do not listen to others relating this or any other disease with your current treatment.

9. I do not understand why you are going through all this, there are plenty of couples conceiving naturally and having healthy babies: Every case is different. It is a fact that infertility has been increasing worldwide, and many couples have been affected by this condition. You will be strong and achieve the goal.

10. I got pregnant! Well, good for them if your case was negative, better if you got pregnant too. But if you did not get pregnant please try not to get too frustrated with your result and speak to your specialist to find out what the causes might be. Remember your doctor is the best person to ask those questions to.

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