One day I read someone’s article stating that in this lifetime she could not be happy with any men she had a relationship with, and that she knew perhaps he did not come to this lifetime this time to meet her. By the time I read the article I did not know the things I now know. I was not aware of the fact that we, as souls, can recognize each other with our energy. I know as a fact we all have souls that mean a world to us: an infinite love. It is not the love we feel for the rest of the souls, whom we also love very much. This is a much deeper love, so deep that it is difficult to explain with words.
Once we realize in any lifetime, that we are all connected, and our energies are capable of great things, we can see more clearly.
I have seen many people depressed and sad because they are on disturbed, unhappy, and disrespectful relationships, and they cannot understand why they are submerged into such unhealthy situations. For us who are on the other side of the line, it is counter intuitive that someone would live that way. However, for them it might be something they feel they have to live with. Perhaps, because society dictates it that way, or because they do not want to recognize they made a mistake in getting into the relationship on the first place. It is not an easy situation, and I am sure many of you have experienced it yourselves, or with friends and family.
People communicate to me that they feel as if they are paying for something bad committed in a previous lifetime, which is a very common way to see it. Subsequently, my question is always the same: “don’t you think you are just scared to let go and the right one is not there yet?”.
Relationships are tough. They are hard work requiring patience, understanding, trust, and communication. They require mutual, and unconditional love for them to succeed. The love that makes you feel there is no one else in the world you would like to be with. To find it? Well, unfortunately not everybody finds it, and some find it but let it go, or some are just scared to feel it. That love is scary, but all pays off when you have that person by your side.
Love is one of the main components of our energies. It is crucial to love ourselves and the people around us. If we do not find that love, we will definitely perish. And I do not mean if we do not find a partner. I mean a deeper kind of love. The one that makes you love everything around you and the lifetime you came to experience. If you do not find that love in this lifetime, it does not matter, because it is there waiting for you once you leave,and you will definitely feel it.
Regarding children I say the same. One couple once told me that if they could not have the success of becoming parents in this lifetime, they will accept it because they knew their children were waiting for them in another lifetime. I found that to be remarkable, specially coming from patients that tried four times with in vitro fertilization.
I went to a medium reader once, named Desiree Dennis (http://www.spiritguidanceandhealing.com). It was my first time with a medium and I was not sure what to expect. She was so warm, cheerful, and wonderful; she made me feel comfortable and open. Her place is really nice, with lovely sofa-chairs where you can lay down and experience the adventure of listening to beings from the other side. It was a very good experience and I recommend people to do it someday if they have not done it. She told me the beings of my two kids were there with us. She even described what I always knew about them somehow. She described them physically, emotionally, and personally. Because she got to meet them and their personalities where exactly as I knew they were. It was a great feeling for me, especially when I have been challenged in the reproductive area myself.
When I had my last fertility attempt, I decided to do the entire procedure by myself. By that I mean all the embryology procedure, of course the egg retrieval was going to be performed by another doctor (my very lovely colleague Dr. Navarro). I did trust all of my colleagues, and knew they did the best they could in my several last attempts. However, this time it was different for me, because I knew things I did not know before. It is a interesting story.
I started my stimulation protocol with hormones, and of course felt the side effects of it. Swelling, hot flushes, mood changes, well the whole package (and to note that just 30% of my patients feel those side effects, the others deny negative side effects altogether). I developed several follicles, over fifteen. It was a good number compared with the previous procedures. The day before my egg retrieval, I received a call from one of my colleagues from another clinic. He demanded me to allow him to perform the egg collection with the doctors, and promised he will leave the rest of the procedure to me once I woke up. His argument was very valid, since I had several follicles and there was a high probability they came with more blood than normal, and if they waited in the incubator for too long while I woke up, there was a high risk of not finding them at all. I accepted, and he helped me with the first part of the procedure. He is really a great person, and I will always thank him for his collaboration. The same as I appreciate the help of the other colleagues who helped during my other attempts. The procedure went well, and I woke up in perfect conditions.
After a few minutes I put on my embryologist clothing, and started getting all ready for the insemination of my eggs. It was amazing to see them there. I was seeing my own cells for the first time.
The next day I observed the fertilization of the eggs, which went well, and later in the day witnessed their first division. And I have to tell you, witnessing the event was one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed in my life. They communicated to me in ways I cannot explain easily. Their personalities, their energies, their souls were the same ones Desiree described to me with so much detail, and the same ones I somehow know from somewhere. I felt I have known them for many years. The energy in that laboratory was strong and powerful.
I knew I needed to freeze them because my endometrium (part of the uterus), was not prepared to receive them yet. The response to hormones was not adequate in the endometrium. So they needed to go to sleep for a while.
I felt when they communicated me: “It will all be OK. We will see you someday, even if not in this lifetime”. Even writing this I get goose bumps. They let me know it will all be OK, whatever happens it was going to be OK. And from that moment on I felt relieved. I always felt so guilty about my infertility, and saw the amazing way I was able to make other people happy becoming parents, and I could not achieve it. I love so much what I do, and I put all my passion into it. But not being able to do it for myself has been a bit difficult and depressing at times. Today, thanks to my children who are now sleeping in the cryo-containers I feel relieved. They made me realize it was not my fault, and if I cannot meet them physically in this lifetime it will be OK, because we will meet someday, somewhere else, in another lifetime.
Again, it is not easy for me to write this. But the purpose of communicating it is that we need to learn to accept and let go. When we do our best, and work hard to achieve a goal, and if that goal does not happen the way we would like it to happen, it may be time to let go. It was not easy for me, and I am sure it will not be easy for you either. For that reason, today I am working with patients in the counseling and guiding area, because I would like them to understand every single step they are facing. I lived it and know the feeling. Fortunately, I had the best team I could possibly have. They are all in Caracas, Venezuela. People who care and feel for every patient, and do their best to guide them through the difficult procedure of having a fertility treatment.
I was there with beings who came directly from another place, another dimension. And I understood what they needed to say, and the lesson they wanted to give me. The main lesson was: “if it not in this lifetime, it will be in another one for sure”. That is my message for you too.
I would like to thank Dr. Carmen Navarro, Nayleth Arguinzones, Randolfo Medina, Luisa Sayago, Dr. Richard Melean, Dr. Dainora Dambrava, Dorca Peña, Nancy Hurtado, Alejandro Rivera, my love Victor Torrealba and his parents Victor and Lili Torrealba, and my amazing mother Lucy Alejos for their amazing collaboration throughout my last procedure.